Por Daniela Moro
As a veritable oath of Alcoholics Anonymous, I made a promise in Stockholm, early in the morning, that I would not speak Portuguese one whole day. From the trips that I was doing alone in Europe to improve my self-knowledge and my ability to communicate using other languages, I will tell you the one that was the most outstanding. Not because I ended up losing myself physically and mentally. I went totally bonkers.
On my last day in Sweden, I did not want to talk to my family and friends from Brazil. At least on that day, I intended to disconnect from those people who linked me to my country and my culture. I would be completely alone. I wanted to absorb everything I could of the country I was in, the different emotions and feelings. And I did.
That night, I went to a party to meet people, absorb all emotions of the place and drink everything that I wanted, like there was no tomorrow. One of the few memories I really remember from that night was the terrible cold. I also remember leaving my handbag on the first floor of the place, where I talked to a guy for a few minutes and then went with him to the bar. We also went dancing a bit and then we got back to the bar. At the party, they played some Indie Rock songs that I liked. I remember the first three drinks I drank with that guy and other people who came after. But my memories end there. The rest of the story is what other people told me.
Drunk, tired and wanting somewhere to keep warm, I decided to cosy up in the trunk of someone’s car while waiting for a taxi in Stockholm. Unfortunately, I slept, only to awake several hours later over the Russian border, with my passport, phone and money still at the bar. It’s hard to describe the feeling I felt when I woke up and realized my blunder. Some people that were close to me tried to help. I was not desperate or scared. I was so shocked I could not even speak. I began to cry like I had never cried before. In the midst of my sobbing, the few words I spoke were in Portuguese. No one in Russia had any idea what I was talking about and neither did I. But for a moment my thoughts took me back to the promise I had made. It had been 24 hours since I had not spoken my mother tongue.
By the end of that day, I was back in Stockholm, thanks to the help of some Russians who had probably been scared by my emotional state and felt sorry of me. After this event, I still visited two other countries in Europe as I had planned, but I could not wait to go home. This time no promises were made. I have learned, in the end, that I should not exclude from myself the identities I have built over time through the languages I speak.
Fonte imagem: https://tenor.com/search/going-insane-gifs